Sunday, February 4, 2007

   OMG!!!
i went to spend the night last night at my best friend 4 lifes house my phone died so my mom coulndt reach me so i call her and tell her where i am she comes to get me but is pissed off she blames me for everything that she does or wut someone else does on the drive home she yells at me cuz kaite moved and she went to their old house when she got there she was embarrassed so SHE BLAMES ME then she threatens to take away everything the computer my cell phone and then gives me this huge lecture and says i can never go to katies house again so i came home had a breakdown because IM TIRED OF THIS BULL SHIT THAT SHE PUTS ME THROUGH THAT PHSYCO BITCH i was so pissed and upset and to make it worse i was trying to hold bak the emotions that i felt and let myself belive that it never happend but it just ended up making me cry and shake i threw a punch at my dad and i pissed off my aunt who was trying to help me but i dont want her in my buisness the second i get a chance to move out i know that i am AND I AM NOT KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH HER!! my mom is never hearing from me EVER AGAIN after im 16 i was going to burst in the car but all i could do was grit my teeth and clench my fists :( im crying at the moment my best friend is gone and im stil sensative to it im sick my mom is bein a total bitch everytime i try to do something right or be happy SHE IS BRINGING ME DOWN UGH IM SO..idk..my emotions are so mixed up right now idk wut to do ne more and i have to go deal with the BULL SHIT AT SCHOOL TOMARROW TOO GAWD omg i swear if she trys to talk to me today she aint getting a response for the rest of the week she can just suck it cuz she aint gettin shit from me for awhile well i g2g chill out for awhile and calm myself down

:mood of the day: still undetectable

:quote of the day: you dont know me and you dont even care
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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

   WOOT THANKSGIVING FOREVER
THANXGIVING THE BEST FUCKING WEEK OF MY LIFE THAT I GOT OFF GOT MY FIRST KISS WOOT GO ME POSTING BLOGS ARE FUN BEEN GROUNDED SO I COULDNT POST NE AT ALL BUT NOW I AM AWAY FROM THE RENTS AND THEY DONT KNOW IF IM ONLINE OR NOT XP GO ME IM SUCH A BADASS OH WELL TYLER STILL LOVES IT THAT I AM A BADASS CUZ HE IS ONE TOO WICH IS SO FUCKING AWSOME OH ADAM IS COOL LOTS OF LOVE TO HIM AND TYLER WOOT LOVE YA HON I FELL ASLEEP ON HIS CHEST THE OTHER NIGHT HE WAS SO COMFY I COULDNT HELP MYSELF HE IS SO SENSATIVE AND SWEET I LOVE HIM SO MUCH *BLOWS KISSES TO TYLER* HOPE HE GETS THEM EATING CHIPS AND STUFF NE WAYS ME AND MY BFFL KITCAT WERE RAIDING THE FRIDGE LOL IT WAS SO COOL WE FOUND SAUSAGE AND EGGNOG I GOT A BOX OF CANDY SWEET TARTS DRINKING WATER AND EATING LEMONLIME LAYS NOT A GOOD COMBO BUT SO HUNGRY DIDNT EAT BREAKFAST HAD A SMALL LUNCH AND ALIL BIT TO DRINK WE WERE OUT ALL DAY BUT IT WAS FUN AS HELL I JUST HAD TY TY ON MY MIND ALL DAY AND HE AT A FRIENDS HOUSE HE IS COMING OVA TOMARROW NIGHT SO WE CAN CUDDLE SOME MORE *DEEP SIGH* IM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM I CANT STAND IT BUT THATS A GOOD THING KITCAT CALLS ME OBVSESSED BUT IM NOT IM JUST A LOVESTRUCK TEEN LOL OH WELL THATS ME FOR U A DRAMA QUEEN TO THE END OH WELL I JUST DONT LIKE HEARTBREAK IT TAKES FOREVER TO GET OVER AND I WANT TO HOLD ONTO TYLER AND KEEP HIM CLOSE HE IS SO SWEET AND SENSATIVE I CAN FEEL HIS WARMTH ALREADY I MADE HIM A PIC I DREW HIM AND ME HUGGING EATCHOTHER AND IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO HIM WHEN WE SEE EATCHOTHER TOMARROW I WANT TO CALL HIM SO BADLY BUT IDK IF I SHOULD CUZ HE IS AT HIS FRIENDS HOUSE SO NOW IM LISTENING TO LOOKING TRHOUGH THE GLASS BY STONE SOUR THEY ARE SO COOL I LOVE THEM I AM IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD RIGHT NOW AND ALSO IN A CUDDLY MOOD TOO OMG I MISS HIM SO MUCH AT HIS HOUSE WE WERE ALONE IN HIS ROOM AND HE HUGGED ME FROM BEHIND AND STARTED SNIFFING ME AND I GO U LIKE? AND HE IS ALL YUP U SMELL GOOD BABE AND IM ALL 0////0 LOL HE IS ALL HAHA UR SO RED *SNUGGLES CLOSE TO PILLOW AND DREAMS ABOUT TYLER*
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Saturday, September 16, 2006

   -_-
saturday/16/06 ok so i wake up to my aunt telling me to wake up cuz we are going to some type of pool party for some reason and i was all wtf so ya im sitting here bored as hell and my aunts freaking phone wont stop ringing gawd -_- so annoying and my stomach hurts so ya no one is on aim and im bored so im sitting here watching rais ur voice and i hate this movie she crys too much lol of course im one to talk lol ne ways me and tyler were chatting onlien until 12:30 in the morning lol and i got coming undone by korn stuck in my head so ya im pretty random and im so depressed at the same time cuz my cousin is going to iraq damn it! and my fucking mom wouldnt let me see or talk to him so i went to my room and blasted my stero and cried so ya the mood of the day is bored/random/depressed http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/coldbloodedwolf13/smilekaiplease.jpg
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

What is Your Phrase? [for darker people]

"Awake, yet never truly alive, I seek valuation beyond reality"
Life is unfullfilling for you, and you aren't very fond of it. What you like is your own imaginative world, which can be your daydreams, stories you write or anything similar. You always prefer that before the actual life. To people you come off as quite lonesome, and you may wish you had more friends, but you are more of a hoper than someone who takes action. That is how you remain lonely. Or maybe you just don't find anyone who you can relate to. Inside you feel empty, like you are missing something important that you can't quite put a finger on what it is. Somehow you wish to be swept away from the normality and led into something extraordinary. This has yet to happen, and you keep on feeling dissapointed with the little that life has to offer. At least you continue to express yourself through art/writing/poems/daydreaming.
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people

You are dead inside and don't experience sadness that often
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What is your element? [with pics + detailed answeres]

Your element is Ice. This element may seem a little odd, but this is a side-effect from when the element of Water gets too hurt. Once you were a content soul, and happy with life. But then something happened. Not necessarily on one day, it probably happened gradually over time. You lost your will to care and became even more reserved from the world. People had hurt you in ways you do not want to remember and now you isolate yourself from them. You have turned into an outsider and probably dress more in black than you used to. Your depression is eating you up and tearing you apart and the worst part is that no one is willing to help, or so it seems. In school you are often by yourself or one single friend and you rarely seem to be truly happy anymore. Your sad, distant eyes and constant frown seems glued to your face and you need a saviour from this world. You may turn to music for understanding and sing/scream along in the lyrics to get rid of some pain. You are not very open about your problems to your family/friends, and wish that they would just notice it and make it go away.
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How do you see life?

Life has no meaning and humans can't be saved. Although you have an urge to help in someway you give up before you even try. The reason is because you think you're a nobdy and therefor have no meaning to the world and can't help. All you do is watch life pass you by, becoming more deppressed each moment.
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What Dark Word Represents You? [anime pics]

Your word is: Sad. You wanted to give yourself to someone. But they didn't accept you. Being rejected, whether it be from family, friends, love-interests or peers, is a very hurtful thing to go through. It is also likely that you have been betrayed several times before, which is why you keep away from everyone now. You learned the hard way to never trust people and your defence-mechanism is now to isolate yourself. Yet you yearn for people who will understand and like you, to have the thing you never had: love.
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Which of the rock songs that I like are you? [pictures]

You are "Atwa" by System of a Down. You were a happy person, thinking you were loved, when in fact you were the opposite. Now, you can't find happiness again. Being unloved is not your thing, and you are now like a zombie, just walking around without a purpose. A living dead..
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How is your soul? [pics]

Your soul is broken.
You are living through a lot of pain everyday that you have to deal with, which is making you sorrowful. No one ever stays by your side when you truly need them and no one ever will. Everything is hopeless and tragic and you keep yearning for the day you will be free from pain. Love is unlikely to happen to you because you isolate yourself and are suspicious of peoples motives. You stand in the shadows of the world, watching what you can never have. The bruises you carry never seems to heal, your mind is dark and no one seems to understand or wants to help. As always, you will be alone in the world, fighting your dark thoughts by yourself.
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What is your connection with darkness? [pics]

Your connection with darkness is through your depression. Hated, sad and often feeling lonely, there is only a few that appreciate the real you. You tend to keep to yourself and away from the world since you don't want to be hurt and betrayed again. Music gives you the understanding you need to get through, it's your "therapy". Or you express yourself through art or writing. Chances are you're also an anti-social person, who only likes being with close friends, if even that. The world has finally showed it's true face for you and you wish life wasn't this miserable to live through. Maybe you'll find happiness in the future, but right now you're just hiding away from the world. Who needs people anyway?
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